naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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