im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
