We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
