I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
