Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
