i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
