the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
