You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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