Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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