Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just googled if crying burns calories
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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