he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
