If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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