So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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