i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
