I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
