Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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