Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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