this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
i need some magic done to my vagina
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
