I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
We got so high we made milksteak
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
