he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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