I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
