I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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