You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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