in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
