I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Randomize
