She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
