STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
