break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
