The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
