remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
