I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just threw up on my dentist
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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