What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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