so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
