How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Randomize
