Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
