Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
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