does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Randomize
