when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
dude. I can hear the air.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
