I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
this is an emotional support booty call
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
