I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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