...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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