I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
