so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
