I wannas sexs uuuuu
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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