he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
