Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize
