Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
