I think I won the penis lottery.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
