nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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