Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
