Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
