try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
should my penis look like a turkey
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
