There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
