i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
