so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
